Author Belinda Letts (Wedding Belle).
This article gives you insight into Wedding ceremony rituals and reasons why couples choose to include them. Rituals are not essential in a wedding ceremony. Below give options you can choose one or no rituals to include in a ceremony with me. Below gives a description of the unity candle ceremonies, wine ceremonies, sand ceremonies, dove ceremonies and butterfly releases, and why couples choose to include them in their Wedding ceremony. I also provide some local Yarra Valley businesses in which you can contact to bring this to life for your Yarra Valley or Dandenong Ranges Wedding Ceremony. But they’re certainly not for everyone. If you choose to add a wedding ritual in your ceremony it will usually add 5 minutes extra to your ceremony (give or take).
If you have a family tradition, you’d love to include chat to me about it. Happy to accommodate if the venue & I can.
Unity candle ceremony
There are a few things a candle can represent. It’s nice for the celebrant to speak about this unity candle before lighting. Some couples use the ceremony to represent the union of two people becoming one. Sometimes the candle lighting represents the bringing together of the two families of the newlywed couple into one family.
- The two separate candles on the outside symbolise your separate lives and represent your lives before today. Lighting the centre candle together using your two singular candles represents that your two lives are now joined to one light.
- The unity candle can also represent the joining together of your two families and sets of friends to one. There is no right or wrong who you include in the unity candle lighting with you. Include people that are most important to you. You can include both sets of parents to light a candle each, essentially giving their permission to become a bigger family. It’s a nice way to include your parents and the in-laws. It’s also a lovely way of merging a bigger family. You may like to include your children, or step kids / kids from previous relationships. It represents the life before today and the separate families and separate sets of friends lighting their very own candle on the outside to all light a central candle together. Giving their permission to become a bigger family and also including the entire family in the ceremony.
- Or in honour of some beloved members of their family / friends watching over us today. Lighting a candle in their honour. Keeping a light burning in their remembrance. And signifying that their memory still lives on and burns bright with us today.
Keep in mind before considering the unity candle what season you are getting married in. In summer in the Yarra Valley & Dandenong ranges, quite often fires are banned due to fire season. Before considering a candle ceremony any time of the year you should also get permission from the venue so some private venues and parklands have a no fire policy.
Wine Ceremony
Wine ceremonies are quite fun and who doesn’t love wine? When getting married in the Yarra Valley or Dandenong Ranges, we’re in or so close to some of the best wine produce in Australia (and the world). I might be slightly bias.
There are also a number of variations to a wine ceremony, but the central idea is to blend the wine as a symbol of the union, or to share the wine as a celebration of the union. Wine represents the richness of life and the sweet and bitter elements life throws at you. As a couple you will choose 2 wines, maybe a personal favourite each, maybe a red and a white variety, completely up to you. Each wine symbolises one of you and your own unique personalities as individuals. You will then both pour a little bit of both wines into the glasses 50/50. These are two unlikely pairs however it symbolises being prepared to commit to sharing their individual favourite things together, and make sacrifice and compromise for each other. A hot tip is to try the mixture prior to the big day as you don’t want to end up scrunching your face in photos.
We can include wording like this to include everyone here today I would like you to join me in 3 cheers.
Celebrant = Cheers to your past life Guests & couple – cheers
Celebrant = Cheers to your present life. Guests & couple – cheers
Celebrant = Cheers to your future life together as Husband & Wife / Husband & Husband / Wife and Wife Guests & couple – cheers
Tip taste the wine together before the day so you don’t end up scrunching your face.
Please note; you would need to check with the venue that they are licenced in the ceremony area. Some venues are only licenced in the function centre and parklands don’t allow alcohol, so we could choose a non-alcoholic wine. I would also suggest buying the bottles of wine from a local Yarra Valley provider, as this will symbolise the special part of the would you said “I do”.
Sand Ceremony:
You can celebrate the union of families with a symbolic sand ceremony. Usually you use the signing table to do this (towards the start of the ceremony) or you can set up another table at the ceremony. The table has a different sand jar one filled with different colours for each family member. There is a much larger central jar or vase that gets filled with all the sand. It’s a lovely way of merging a bigger family. You may like to include your children together or children from previous relationships. Get them to choose their favourite colour prior and then you can end up with a big rainbow clear vase at the end filled with each family members coloured sand.
Each member of the family will pour their individual sand into the large jar. This symbolizes their strengths as individuals and their commitment to their new life with each other as a strong foundation as a family moving forward.
For me this was particularly popular for destination weddings to bring a nice little keepsake back home.
Here is some photos I took including the grandkids at Robyn & Neil’s Wedding, representing the union of their families.
Knot Ceremony
Tying a knot together symbolises to strengthen marriage and support of the couple, in union. Like the knot marriage. The bond will not break, just like the knot. Love and the knot together grow stronger under pressure.
The two cords represent the individuals. I would recommend practising your knot skills prior to the ceremony and googling “fisherman’s knot and how to tie”
Dove Ceremony
Some couples choose to release 2 doves. The doves represent the couple who are proud individuals, love, peace and hope. The doves together will work as a team together to find their way. Once they discover the journey, they need to travel with love they will find their way together, use their instincts to find their way home and know home is wherever they are together.
Alternatively, doves can be released in memory of people that cannot attend the wedding or have passed from your life.
Butterfly Release
A butterfly release can be in symbol of loved ones that may not be able to be at your ceremony but are looking down on you, or with us in spirit. Usually the butterfly will be in a box and bought out when the rituals are in your ceremony.
Keep in mind most providers will need you to buy a minimum of 2 butterflies so they can keep each other company in the leadup. As your celebrant I would love to know about who each butterfly represents I can tell your guests as little or much as you like about what they mean to you. The couple together would open the box with the photographer nearby. All the guests would get to enjoy watching the butterflies flying away and pay respects and think of those loved ones they also with could be here with you on your special day!
I only ask butterflies to be released mid-morning or mid-afternoon ceremony as they are not interested in flying at dusk, and this would put them at risk. They would just float to the ground and walk around until sun up the next day. It won’t quite have the same effect.
Rituals are not necessary in your wedding ceremony, however hopefully this gives you some creative ideas how to make your ceremony a little bit different. Together we can talk about these in greater detail if a ritual is something you would like to include in your ceremony. I would always suggest buying what is required for rituals from local Yarra Valley and Dandenong Ranges providers.